This is the Official website for Captain Lard and the Cheese Heads. If there were a Captain Lard and the Cheese Heads. We had some fun in high school and made numerous failed attempts to try and continue to spread our seed (musical and genetic) far and wide (particularly to the female gender). However, due to our ungainly onstage apperance and lyrics focusing on Rubarb and Rednecks, everyone that saw us play thought we were, well, really cool. I don't understand it either. Perhaps that is because we only really played one show in front of more than 10 people (Our high school Battle of the Bands). Hear us once and to the beat your head will bounce -- Hear us twice you'll want to put our balls in a vice.