What follows is in reality our guestbook. Captain Lard thinks that messages where people use his name falsetifidedly are funny. Make fun of us all you want just like our good friends over at.....oh yeah, we have no good friends. Come to think about it we don't have any bad friends either. We don't have any friends that are neither good nor bad. But it is still funny when you make fun of us to other people and is funny.

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Lard

It's not just an insoluble compund of fatty acids and glycerol, its a state of mind, and if you're like me its a state of body. Lard is a metaphor for life. When you think about it it can make sense. Life has its ups and downs, its mysteries, and its sexual desires. Lard has none of these. Thats why I, Kraut, founded StunniX Lard(Stunnix@aolcom). way back in last year. This has nothing to do with the band except for the name and my gigantic waistline.You are probably wondering why you had such a stupid idea as to read this and might not continue. As a matter of fact, I hope you don't because I'm going to finish this paragraph off by insulting you. But I guess it's not you're fault - obesity and stupidity are genetic traits nowadays right? It's all your FAT MOM and STUPID DAD'S fault isn't it? You're just some innocent COMPUTER NERD who is too WEAK and PALE to go do something in real life. (hmm... unless of course, you're a girl...that is hot...in which case you need to contact me immediately!) If you are starting to get annoyed with me feel free to send me hatemail at captnlard@aol.com. If you are offended you should lighten up (in several ways) or e-mail me for an apology and consolation prize. And read all the other stuff on the page and sign the guest book and come to all our shows and e-mail me offers to play gigs and stuff for money because we're cool...Really.